Monday, December 16, 2013

The Flight Begins

0 comments Posted by Lady Lavender at 8:20 PM

To make a long story short, I've decided to resign. My health issues were way more important than the paycheck in this case. It's quite scary to have to let go of the only thing I've known for the past 10-11 years. What will I do? How will I sustain myself? I have a plan but I'm not quite sure it will work yet.

I was searching through my pictures and found a great one of my department and I. It's us having a good time on "Nerd vs. Jocks" day. I almost shed a tear because I remember that these people were my life and family for quite a long time. We are so close that it's like losing brothers and sisters. I'd like to say we'll still be in touch but I know their life as a teacher will not allow them to "clown around" outside of work. I will miss them dearly and deeply. I can't imagine myself as a newbie in any other environment right now.

On the other hand, I have to look forward to my daughter. I get to be around with her as she does her homework, talks about friends, completes projects, make breakfast for her and make her lunch on a daily basis. I didn't get a chance to do that too often because I was consumed with paperwork and so wiped out. I don't know how single mom's do it because without the help of my mom, I would have been a wreck.

I can also say that I have started to wake up even more with these interesting abilities. On Sunday, after having gone to see a channel on Saturday, I woke up feeling extremely ill. I had a fever and my whole body  hurt. I figured it was all the fun I had at my daughter's b-day as anytime you're around little kids, you tend to pick up their "cooties". Anyway, I was quite disappointed that I was ill. I had a ton of work to get done yet I was in and out of sleep. Finally, around 7:40 am I woke up and I had an amazing energy that was so strange. I chatted with a friend online and I found myself saying very deep things such as - "I'm ill right now but I equate this with the death of my old spiritual body and the rejuvenation of the newer. " - Random, right?
The energy was so strong I didn't know what to do with myself. I was getting dizzy with energy (or with fever). At one point, I thought I could hear a voice inside my head! I wonder if this is what I have to look forward to? or is this a sign of the fever that I had? Is it symbolic? Either way, it proves itself to be quite interesting.~Until next time; See you fresh and in spirit!

 

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Turning impossible into I'm possible...

0 comments Posted by Lady Lavender at 2:25 PM

As you can see I haven't updated my blog since 2010, that's almost 3 years ago. A lot has happened since then. It's mostly about failures, or at least things that I thought were failures. I got stuck working so much that I felt the pressures of me being a bit unhappy. There is a lot to do when you are a teacher and as many people know, we are underpaid and overworked. I decided I would hold out though, just a bit longer. Perhaps it was the structure in my work environment, or the duties and responsibilities? Perhaps it was the hard emotional work that comes with dealing with teenagers? - I held out and found that life was getting even worse..

A few months ago, I was ready to quit the job but then something interesting happened, we got a new principal. I decided once again, that I would - stick it out and see. It seems now that we have made some new changes in the job and our workload is slightly easier, however, I'm still feeling the stress and tension. I wanted to move forward as I felt that I no longer was connected to what I was doing. How could I push myself ahead? Leaving a stable job? Leaving a great paycheck? Leaving insurance? No way! It will be impossible in today's economy. Impossibility was high in this situation.

As I continued working and ignoring what my heart said, I ended up with several health problems. I can fix them, but - I need time to be able to do it. One issues requires 8-12 weeks of therapy and the other issues requires 45 minutes of exercise daily, healthier eating habits,  vitamins, checkups, and a low stress environment. My allergies have come back, my skin problems are ridiculous right now, and my cholesterol is super high. I'm at the point to where I just want to go hide in a dark cave and not come out until 2025.

Anyway, I figured that it was time to do something about the madness I was experiencing and change the way I see things. I needed to find a possibility in the wake of all this insanity. I couldn't remember the last time I was aware of the Angels in my life so I took a moment to focus again. I gave myself a reading with my own cards and listened. I shuffled the deck very well and I heard the number 10 in my head. I pulled from the top of the deck and counted out 10 cards. When I flipped it over, I had Career Transition in bold letters staring at me in the face. I couldn't believe it myself but then I quickly went to my Angel Therapy cards and asked, ok - what do I need to heal in order to make this happen? And again I heard -select 3 cards. I shuffled and did it a different way this time. I selected a random 3 from a spread and I ended up getting cards that told me to remember about the Ascended Masters helping me, cut my cords and let go of fear, and step into my Goddess role. I froze in my tracks as these are the very 3 things that I have been working on with the help of some intuitive guidance from a very special lady that I look up and admire a lot. I haven't been the best client these days (missed appointments, showing up late, rescheduling - what a mess) but when I saw those cards, everything she has told me fell in to place. I needed to let go of my fear and find my possibilities.

I was inspired to launch a new website, it was created but I never published it. I was too afraid and all I saw was failure/impossibility then I started thinking --- what if...? What if, I CAN do this? What if it DOES work, what if I HELP others? I was suddenly flooded with a refreshing feel and the Angels were present all around me. It was like getting a hug from an unseen loving force - some people might call it crazy, but I call that enlightenment. With just one action, I changed my impossibility to I'm possible. I started believing in myself which will eventually lead to me living in my true self. I no longer think I can - I believe I can.
I challenge you to find your path so therefore I ask, Where are you on your journey inward?

~See you next time, fresh and in good spirits!

 

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Sunday, October 24, 2010

100 Days of Yoga: Day 9

0 comments Posted by Lady Lavender at 10:59 AM

Well, it has been awhile and I haven't gone to Yoga. My mom has been really ill with kidney stones and everything else you can imagine. I've missed work like 3 times in one week it seems and I'm far behind on catching up with the real world and the social world.

Without yoga this week, my life changed again. I noticed a strong imbalance in my way of thinking and my frustrations were so intense that it was almost scary. Perhaps it can partially be credited to the amount of stress that I feel at work and in the home life but, with yoga, it seems that I didn't struggle so much with those issues.I personally believe most of it comes from some hormonal imbalance while going through the mid-life crisis. Problem is, is that I'm not old enough for that yet - at least, so I hear. Either way, I'm feeling a pull to go on a year long sabbatical in Tibet. Meditation is calling me, the chanting feels good, and my intuition is getting scarily accurate. I feel like - what am I still doing here? Yoga, believe it or not - helps balance me.

Aum Tala Yoga: Lokaaa...bhavantu....

I love this stuff. Aum Tala yoga is something that was designed by two amazing people. They mix chanting mantras and flow yoga all together somehow and have it all set to live music. It was fantastic. Tonight's workshop was all about being connected with Earth and gaining balance which was in tune with exactly what I needed. It was funny how it worked out that way but it was a nice surprise to hear.

The place was a lovely martial arts studio on a top floor with gianormous windows. They had turned off most of the lighting and let candles light up the place. The place was very warm and cozy feeling plus, the addition of the live music - one guy on a mat with several authentic instruments from India, really spiced up my auditory senses. We start with chanting Ohm or Aum / probably Aum since the name of the workshop was Aum Tala... we did that 3 times. The vibration that one feels inside can instantly start to soothe the soul. We also got a chance to chant, Ganapati Ohm - to help remove energy blocks, and of course at the end - Ohm Shanti for peace, and Lok souki no....bhavantu - which I believe basically means, be happy. Either way, they were great releases and we sang one chant for 108 repetitions - Ohm dada dadaye namaha. It was all very uplifting and the strangest thing is being able to feel the energy shift. I was in a good place last night and I even made it to visualization during the meditative shavasana at the end of it all.

On the physical side of it, we did many things. Downward dogs, planks, side plank, warriors, etc.. all the ones that used to give me such a hard time. I noticed that tonight for the first time, I was actually able to hop from the standing forward folds to plank. Normally, I have to ease in to it. I was quite proud of myself. I was feeling lighter on my feet and when we did tree pose, I was able to hold it very steady this time. I still couldn't get my leg up to my thigh but, besides that - I was standing there - grounded! I was so happy with myself and my body. It was amazing. We even did a flowing pigeon. Who knew that there could be a flowing pigeon. She made us rock back in forth, do some prayer poses, all while sitting in pigeon. I thought I was going to pass out because my core was engaged the whole time. I'm sure I lost at least 1 inch on around the belly area. Needless to say but when we finished, I was downward facing dog tired. I was glad to be done with it all but most of all, I was thankful for having sweated profusely, gained physical prowess and experienced more enlightenment.

After it all I was glad to go home but I was more thankful for having found this wonderful group of instructors. I feel loved in that room no matter what and the end of it, I absolutely adore the fact that she anoints us all with some essential oils. Felt like lavender and eucalyptus or peppermint. Nice, soft, uplifting and invigorating - the oils almost mimicked how I was feeling at the moment. I hope to be able to go on a week long retreat with them. I think it would definitely be good for my soul and I should be allowed to take time out for personal development. Namaste!

 

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