Lady Lavender: Divinity in progress...

To make a long story short, I've decided to resign. My health issues were way more important than the paycheck in this case. It's quite scary to have to let go of the only thing I've known for the past 10-11 years. What will I do? How will I sustain myself? I have a plan but I'm not quite sure it will work yet.

I was searching through my pictures and found a great one of my department and I. It's us having a good time on "Nerd vs. Jocks" day. I almost shed a tear because I remember that these people were my life and family for quite a long time. We are so close that it's like losing brothers and sisters. I'd like to say we'll still be in touch but I know their life as a teacher will not allow them to "clown around" outside of work. I will miss them dearly and deeply. I can't imagine myself as a newbie in any other environment right now.

On the other hand, I have to look forward to my daughter. I get to be around with her as she does her homework, talks about friends, completes projects, make breakfast for her and make her lunch on a daily basis. I didn't get a chance to do that too often because I was consumed with paperwork and so wiped out. I don't know how single mom's do it because without the help of my mom, I would have been a wreck.

I can also say that I have started to wake up even more with these interesting abilities. On Sunday, after having gone to see a channel on Saturday, I woke up feeling extremely ill. I had a fever and my whole body  hurt. I figured it was all the fun I had at my daughter's b-day as anytime you're around little kids, you tend to pick up their "cooties". Anyway, I was quite disappointed that I was ill. I had a ton of work to get done yet I was in and out of sleep. Finally, around 7:40 am I woke up and I had an amazing energy that was so strange. I chatted with a friend online and I found myself saying very deep things such as - "I'm ill right now but I equate this with the death of my old spiritual body and the rejuvenation of the newer. " - Random, right?
The energy was so strong I didn't know what to do with myself. I was getting dizzy with energy (or with fever). At one point, I thought I could hear a voice inside my head! I wonder if this is what I have to look forward to? or is this a sign of the fever that I had? Is it symbolic? Either way, it proves itself to be quite interesting.~Until next time; See you fresh and in spirit!

As you can see I haven't updated my blog since 2010, that's almost 3 years ago. A lot has happened since then. It's mostly about failures, or at least things that I thought were failures. I got stuck working so much that I felt the pressures of me being a bit unhappy. There is a lot to do when you are a teacher and as many people know, we are underpaid and overworked. I decided I would hold out though, just a bit longer. Perhaps it was the structure in my work environment, or the duties and responsibilities? Perhaps it was the hard emotional work that comes with dealing with teenagers? - I held out and found that life was getting even worse..

A few months ago, I was ready to quit the job but then something interesting happened, we got a new principal. I decided once again, that I would - stick it out and see. It seems now that we have made some new changes in the job and our workload is slightly easier, however, I'm still feeling the stress and tension. I wanted to move forward as I felt that I no longer was connected to what I was doing. How could I push myself ahead? Leaving a stable job? Leaving a great paycheck? Leaving insurance? No way! It will be impossible in today's economy. Impossibility was high in this situation.

As I continued working and ignoring what my heart said, I ended up with several health problems. I can fix them, but - I need time to be able to do it. One issues requires 8-12 weeks of therapy and the other issues requires 45 minutes of exercise daily, healthier eating habits,  vitamins, checkups, and a low stress environment. My allergies have come back, my skin problems are ridiculous right now, and my cholesterol is super high. I'm at the point to where I just want to go hide in a dark cave and not come out until 2025.

Anyway, I figured that it was time to do something about the madness I was experiencing and change the way I see things. I needed to find a possibility in the wake of all this insanity. I couldn't remember the last time I was aware of the Angels in my life so I took a moment to focus again. I gave myself a reading with my own cards and listened. I shuffled the deck very well and I heard the number 10 in my head. I pulled from the top of the deck and counted out 10 cards. When I flipped it over, I had Career Transition in bold letters staring at me in the face. I couldn't believe it myself but then I quickly went to my Angel Therapy cards and asked, ok - what do I need to heal in order to make this happen? And again I heard -select 3 cards. I shuffled and did it a different way this time. I selected a random 3 from a spread and I ended up getting cards that told me to remember about the Ascended Masters helping me, cut my cords and let go of fear, and step into my Goddess role. I froze in my tracks as these are the very 3 things that I have been working on with the help of some intuitive guidance from a very special lady that I look up and admire a lot. I haven't been the best client these days (missed appointments, showing up late, rescheduling - what a mess) but when I saw those cards, everything she has told me fell in to place. I needed to let go of my fear and find my possibilities.

I was inspired to launch a new website, it was created but I never published it. I was too afraid and all I saw was failure/impossibility then I started thinking --- what if...? What if, I CAN do this? What if it DOES work, what if I HELP others? I was suddenly flooded with a refreshing feel and the Angels were present all around me. It was like getting a hug from an unseen loving force - some people might call it crazy, but I call that enlightenment. With just one action, I changed my impossibility to I'm possible. I started believing in myself which will eventually lead to me living in my true self. I no longer think I can - I believe I can.
I challenge you to find your path so therefore I ask, Where are you on your journey inward?

~See you next time, fresh and in good spirits!