Lady Lavender: Divinity in progress...

Ok - so this whole secret stuff is freaking me out even more. I'll have to admit that I let myself slip and starting thinking about "getting out of debt". Well, of course that just started this downfall of bills - even it wasn't "that time of the month" and yet there they were. So, of course, like any person feeling sorry for him/herself - I was very upset, sad, and disappointed that I was still having these financial issues - and at "my age!" ugh! I was just thinking about how much I wanted to get out of debt and it seems like everyday, a suprise debt came along.

Anyway, I decided I wanted to do something about that debt! Get serious and combat it. I decided last Saturday afternoon that I was going to be rich! (for real!) I now have a mission and I'm getting excited about it. Sure, sure, I've said it before but this time there was this little "fire" that went off inside my body it seems...an excitement - the journey! You know what I mean? Like when you know you want to do something but you have no idea how or where or what you were going to do to get there, but you just knew you HAD to make it happen? Well, that's what I felt. I laid there in my room, surrounded by the bills and statements that I had opened in the past couple of days and all of a sudden my phone rang.

Well, it was my mobile phone and of course, I NEVER answer it if it is a number that I don't know or if it's a marketing number of some sort -- I reached over to pick up the phone and I swear, it opened (like a freak accident) and I was forced to answer it! I held my breath to see if anyone would say hello. I mean, I didn't get to see the number so, how do I know it wasn't some stalker ex that was calling to check up on me? (ok, not likely but you know)...

I listen to the voice on the other line and it seems to be an automated phone call. I listen and it's all about a money making type job offer. For whatever reason, I didn't hang up yet I didn't feel like I was being sucked in to another scheme. I actually felt good about it - so I continued to listen. It gave me another number to call and speak to an agent - so I did!

So, now I'm on the phone - listening - yadda yadda yadda... I talk to another agent, then another, get the discounts..etc.. It's going to cost me $100 to sign up and they will help me do what I need to do. Guidance, and all that good stuff. I'm still thinking about it when the guy on the other line asks me how did I hear about them because he needed the "id" of the person who signed me up. I said well, I got an automated call. He responded to me and said, "hmm, I didn't think we had that service. We've only just started with our promotions." - After that, I said - ok, I'll take it!

I bought the package and I did feel like THIS TIME, it's going to work because I'm ready. I said, well, if this is what I'm supposed to do, give me a sign and then after that I said to myself, "Money comes easily and without effort." - (I heard it from the movie of course) - I decided to believe that statement. 100% - and by the end of the day, when the mail came... I had a check for $25.00 - for no real apparent reason. I mean I worked for the place but I hadn't worked or turned in a time sheet since 60 days ago. I can see that perhaps they made an accounting error and just now figured it out but...there woule have been a phone call or an email. For me, it was like a check out of the blue. - I was very suprised but, I expressed my gratitude and after that, I repeated..."Money comes easily and without effort."

We'll see what happens next. The week isn't over yet!

Right, so you remember how I'm trying to win the lottery and supposed to be visualizing money and the such? Well, yesterday I realized that I had an old plane ticket voucher that was valid for 1 year. I paid for it, but never used it. I called about it and the rep was like, sure - you can get a refund! Wow - some money came in! Awesome... but what really did it for me, was the letter I got in the mail. Apparently I have been over paying one of the monthly bills and I have a credit in my name $x amount of dollars. The letter basically said that I can get the refund for it or have them credit my account. The funny thing about it, is that the amount in the letter totally matches the 3 numbers I was playing in the lottery! Coinkidinky or just dinky? Hmmm...

Ok - can this whole quest get any better? Of course it can! I'm REALLY believing it even more. So you remember how I am set on winning the lottery? Well, I've learned to listen to those little voices in my head or that sudden haunch on things. I was given a "number" in my head so I decided I would play it. Just a random 3 digit number as we have that CASH 3 (and 4 ) here in GA, so I ran to the nearest gas station to play it. That "idea" came to me on a Thursday. I played the numbers that day and Friday and on Monday. I lost each time and so I gave up. I woke up on Tuesday morning and heard the voice in my head..."play the numbers today!!" so ok ok ok I thought -- I'll get to it. I roll out of bed, it's noon and the midday play had already gone by. Oh well, I'll try it this afternoon. - I go do some errands, talk to a friend, go eat, blah blah blah... all the everyday things... 6:15pm! - They will have already played the evening numbers... ah, no worries - I'll get me a ticket for Wednesday.

So, 8pm - I finally get up to the counter and I order "my numbers". I get home - eventually fall asleep and wake up sometime close to noon. I haven't thought about it again. Thursday evening I decide - hey, I wonder what happened with that lottery ticket? So, I get online and check - and well I'll be... I go to the GA lottery website and BAM! I see MY friggin numbers have won! I nearly flipped a lid. I was ready to call the whole world but...I went to my ticket and checked it. Sure enough, the numbers were there, all in a row. Perfect! However, the date was for the next day! The numbers I played had won, but because I was turtle slow... they won that afternoon that I had the "haunch" and I didn't go play the numbers until after the fact.

I tell you what, I will move a lot faster the next time I get a sudden desire to play certain numbers. Moral of this blog entry: When you wish for something, listen to the response and act rapidly! :-)

I have to say that 100% , not yet. But, I'm at 98% and the one thing that set me over the edge at believing that this stuff works, isn't all the "fun" stuff. I'm going to share with you a little story about my grandmother...

She's in her late 70's - She loves my child to death. She's not senile (yet) but is suffering from poor health. She doesn't take care of herself and therefore, is now suffering. She was an avid smoker and drinker until she had to go on oxygen. She loves to eat and is very overweight. She is now bedridden, but - she doesn't have to be. She just doesn't try.

Anyway, she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. She basically needs to get more oxygen into the lungs so that she can keep pushing out the fluid that collects. She has to have a special diet, eat well, stay away from too much water based, and sugar based products, etc..etc.. Well, needless to say, she doesn't do it.

Oneday she was having a hard time breathing and we had to call emergency. She was rushed to the hospital and sedated. She had a lot of fluid in her lungs and pnumonia was settling in. I thought that her Angel of Death was close by and I knew my mother wouldn't be able to handle it if she were to leave us now. I tell you, I wished more than anything that she would get better. The doctors said that she could go 50/50. But her lungs were filling up with fluid faster than what they could pump out. I felt bad and in a way, I knew I had to do something.

The doctors came in one day and said that the fluid was very mucous like and that she had some kind of black substance in there as well. It was going to be hard work for her to get that out since her intake of oxygen was very poor. I panicked of course and knew that something had to be done. I thought about it all day and at some point, I slipped into "naptime". I'll never forget it - I was at my mom's house and I was just laying on the couch and slipped into that stage between sleeping and being awake - you know, the one where you can hear what's around you but you're still dreaming? That one... well, I dreamt that I was in a little spaceship - and I had entered into my grandmother's bloodstream. (Very , "honey, I shrunk the kids-ish") In this little "spaceship" I was sitting there with a giant toothbrush. (I know, hilarious right?) and once I got to my grandmother's ribcage and lungs, I got out of the spaceship with this giant toothbrush. All of a sudden, the darkness that I was in turned to a bright white surrounding, as if I had a flashlight, and I was able to see clearly the blacksubstance that was on the lung and sticking to the ribcage. Well, as you can imagine, I brushed , scrubbed, and cleaned every bone of the ribcage and cleaned off the lungs. Then, almost as if I were pressure washing the lung, I guess - I rinsed everthing off and drained it. I got back into my spaceship and jetted off. I woke up.

This dream to me was so vivid that my arms seemed tired when I woke up. I felt like I had been working. It was very strange. I ignored and just thought to myself - I wish I had the power to do that for real. Later that afternoon, we went to the hospital. What the doctor told us afterwards, I thought I was going to pee in my pants. He said that somehow, the amount of fluid in her lungs had diminished greatly and that the black substance that was there (I forgot what he called it) - was disappearing. They didn't know how but, her breathing had improved and within a few hours, if all keeps going well, they would have her lungs cleared. Sure enough - by the very next day - She was awake. Mildly sedadated and her lungs were cleared. The black stuff was gone and probably in the next 24hours (after some monitoring) she would be back at home. The Pnuemonia was gone or didn't completly settle - and her recovery was amazing.

That coincidence or miracle made me almost have a heart attack. I was freaked out yet overjoyed. As silly and ridiculous as it may sound - somehow, I attribute my "dream" to her recovery. Impossible - I know! Perhaps it's impossibly possible... whatever happened, made my grandmother recover and quickly. That was a while back and though she had to return to the hospital a few months later due to something else - she wasn't nearly as bad as she was the first time. She's still doing ok today.

After that incident - my 2% belief factor went up to 90%. Then all these little things make up that other 8% bringing me to my 98% - Through this blog, and more "testing" - perhaps I will convince myself of the other remaining 2%. If the key to the secret is visualization, then I do have a vivid imagination. The times that things have randomly come to me, I had visualized it happening and then later, it did. I tell you what though, a few days ago, I had a vivid dream about the lottery numbers. I was sooo lazy that I didn't get off my butt to go play those numbers immediately but, when I did...I found out that the numbers I played - based on my dream - had won the afternoon before. Since I don't watch tv much, I rely on checking things via internet. I bought the ticket and waited a few days and checked later. I saw that my numbers had won but -- I was just 24hrs too late. My ticket was dated the next day... damn - just damn!

Anyway, I shall keep trying. Maybe I'll have another dream or perhaps another bout of luck...

After seeing that the secret and universe or whatever you want to call it, actually brought me things that were "tailored" to my liking, I decided to see if I could just "conjure" up things here and there. Of course, the biggest ailment that I suffer from is money and a partner. I'd like to have both - at once! I decided I'd make me a vision board, just like the guy in the movie mentions...

Here's what I did: Basically bought a cork board, carefully selected images from magazines that depicted items and phrases that I wanted to have. I put it somewhere in my home where I'd be able to see it everyday. I was revising it just last week and thought to myself -bah! Nothing ever became of it. It's been several months and nothing...at least I thought that nothing had come true. As I was about to walk away from it a blue sticky note that I had tagged up there, fell down to the floor. I picked it up and written on it was, "I need $10,000 in unexpected income 60 days from now." - I remembered and thought about that time frame... what happened?

Interestingly enough my parents got something like $11K in insurance for a home they owned that was damaged by a storm. They didn't know anything about it as an uncle of mine lives in the home and asked and did the inquiry about it. He actually vacated the home and lived with a girlfriend. He ended up staying with her and thought nothing else of the inquiry. Months later, a check came to my parents. ...If I had only specified that I wanted it to come to me.. what could have happened?

I took another good look at the things I had posted. One was for a particular perfume that I adored - I didn't get it but, what was funny is that at the time, the boyfriend I had purchased one for his mother and wanted to buy one for me but, it was all sold out. He and his sister searched up and down for this perfume and finally found it. Later, we broke up but - I could still say that I "almost" owned it. The last thing that caught my eye was that I had created a "circle of friends" who enjoyed the same things I did. When I thought about it - even my old group of friends had ceased due to break ups, move ins/outs, divorces etc... They were all now spread about. I had met new people since then and there are 3 of us who feel a great connection. Whenever we meet, we find out that we have more and more things in common. I actually have a picture of the three of us sitting together, in a circle and not only is the setting similiar to that of the picture on the board, the "look" of the other two is very similar to the way the people in the cut out version also look. Interesting...

I keep thinking that there is some sort of unseen force that makes you fuel your willpower. You see the image so you indirectly make the choices needed in order to "get what you want", right? - but I guess that doesn't explain how money comes about... So maybe this stuff, is working...hmm

"ok universe, send me my friend "Bill" - I said outloud and repeated that several times. - ha! Several hours later, he called another friend of mine and meet up with us later that night. Probably a coincidence, the chances were quite high that he would have called anyway.

"ok, universe, have my friend "Jill" call me. I need to speak to her. " - She phoned me later that day. It's not likely that Jill would have phoned me on any given day since she and I aren't that close of friends. Again, coincidence?

"ok, universe, I'm waiting to make some good money! Send it to me!" - and I imagined getting paid extra money. Within one month, I got offered three extra projects to do concerning my job. I was going to be getting extra pay for each project completed and just as I had pictured it, a check came after each completed one. - hmmm...now what should I ask for?